For the past few days, I have been trying to define something that has been happening to me. It hasn't happened suddenly- rather gradually, developing over a period of months, and has gathered momentum in the last 8 or 10 days.
I've been sitting and obsessing over it, at times- maybe even feeling uncomfortable about it. Trying to choose between two things, if truth be told. And the choice was too difficult.
But I was told that I didn't necessarily have to choose. Indeed. Later on, the truth of it struck me. Why should I have to choose? I know the saying "You can't have your cake and eat it too" but who says I'm having my cake and eating it too? For instance, I could be having my cake, and going skydiving!
I know it doesn't make sense, but in a way, it does.
We have this overpowering need to make sense of everything, to explain every feeling, to analyse every relationship. But does everything necessarily have to make sense? It's wonderful, what's happening to me, and it doesn't make sense at all.
And suddenly, I'm okay with it. I'm not obsessing anymore.
It's not run-of-the-mill, it's not ordinary, and it definitely isn't normal. But, a Wise Man once told me, "Everything in our lives doesn't have to feel normal, sometimes strange is more familiar."
I couldn't agree more.
Thank you, oh Wise Man.