Finally, I am done with the 30 Day Book Challenge, and not a moment too soon - because it was really turning out to be a challenge towards the end! For the simple reason that when I read a book, I don't over-analyse it - I simply enjoy it and let the words wash over me. So having to classify and categorise books for this tag was a strangely difficult experience. 

However, it made me realise how incredibly lucky I am to have been part of a generation that still read decent stuff. This is not to generalise in any way, I do know a lot of children who read, but for the most part, this vampire-obsession really gets to me. I grew up on a diet of Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton and Agatha Christie (as did a lot of my other friends), most of today's children seem to grow up on a diet of violent Japanese cartoons and Edward Cullen. And it's not just choice in literature but the whole attitude to life that is different with children I see. When did the world change?

Sometimes I just feel incredibly OLD. I think time is passing us all by and every second is fleeting by, every second we grow closer to the end of our lives, that Big Bang in our own existence- except that we will not explode, but rather implode into ourselves, into the lives we have led. 

And every minute that passes, I am reminded that there is such a lot to do - why, this is just the first month of the last year of university, and already I am swimming in lists of books to read, reference books to look up, essays to go through. And while my cat snoozes away peacefully with her head on my laptop keypad (making it difficult for me to type without moving her head a little, but I wouldn't do that, oh no, she's sleeping so peacefully), I find myself a little weary of life, of growing up and its various responsibilities. But then again, that is life in itself - it must be lived, lived well and lived responsibly (although I know lots of people who defy this convention).

And while a best friend worries about jumping off metaphorical cliffs and how, with the onset of age, we are becoming alarmingly unadventurous, and I tell her that life, now, is more about just being and living than anything else, I realise that somewhere, somehow, we have grown up and shed the adolescent angst, and are learning to deal with life itself as an adventure. No need to prove anything, no need to be 'cool', to 'fit in'. There is no need to jump off any cliff, we have already jumped off it. The question now is, do we go crashing down into the abyss, or do we learn to fly?

Aargh!

Right now, my backlog consists of:

1. Four tests before the end of the semester - two for Criticism, one for The Tempest and its Aftermath, and another one for Indian Writing in English.
2. Two term-papers to submit, one for Literature and Censorship, and another one for The Tempest and its Aftermath.
3. One upcoming Bengal Chamber event on "Tagore and the Bengal Renaissance".
4. The usual work - a couple of interviews, articles, plus pending content writing work.
5. Books - Media and Violence; Sex, Literature and Censorship; Roald Dahl's Switch Bitch.

Gah. Too much work. I need 72 hours in a day. I'm feeling ill at the thoughts of those tests and term-papers. Plus exams next month. On top of all this, the heat isn't helping. I'm surviving on Iced Tea, Tang, tok dal, and shukto. Bye-bye, chicken and mutton - I really like you, but you're just not eatable in this weather.
But gah once again. Gah. I want to start swimming again. But where's the time?
Aargh, like the subject of this blogpost!

A Life Without Stress Is An Empty Life.

I was thinking today, that I like being stressed. I like having lots of things to do, lots of assignments to complete, lots of articles to write... Well, you get the picture.
For me, sitting around is not an option. Most of my friends think I'm a little nutty because I don't indulge in endless hours of lyadh (something unique to my University), but the truth is - I feel empty if I don't have a lot of things to do. Time is precious, and I like being productive.
Right now, this is what's on my plate.

1. An article on Art and Serigraphy.
2. An article on social, environmental and political awareness of the youth.
3. A conference regarding the capabilities of the visually handicapped.
4. Organising Press for the upcoming Theatre festival at ICCR.
5. Finish reading William Dalrymple's The Age of Kali.
6. Write and upload the Wikipedia article on John Gay's Polly for Literature & Censorship class.
7. Hopefully get around to reading the two academic books on Shakespeare I have issued from BCL. (Hah!)

Yes. I am a workaholic. And I love it!
Once, I'd felt a little more stressed than usual, and had told my boss, "Can't take on any more work, I have way too much on my plate right now!"
You know what he'd said?
"Get a bigger plate."
Profound, and oddly touching. I've never forgotten those words , and I go by that philosophy even now.

Some Thoughts.

1. After many, many months of continuous work, I finally have some free time to myself. I have quit my boring, thankless content writing job, with the intention of concentrating on this last semester's academics (or so Ma thinks) and catching up generally, on all the books and movies I have been putting off. While I still have other work to keep me busy, the absence of the regular job leaves me relieved, yet still empty. It's strange not feeling stressed. I'd forgotten what having free time feels like.
2. This semester is turning out to be rather screwy. Just a week into it, and I'm already gnashing my teeth at the Criticism classes, and the less said about Indian Writing In English, the better. The Tempest And Its Aftermath and Literature And Censorship, on the other hand, are shaping out to be very interesting, enjoyable courses.
3. I am now addicted to Porcupine Tree. And Foo Fighters, to some extent. Plus a whole lot of random music which I won't go into.
4. A friend of mine asked me the other day why I like working - whether it makes me happy or whether it prevents me from being sad. He said there was a difference, and yes, I do see that there is one. I had told him it makes me happy. Now, with no immediate work to do, I can't help wonder about what he said, and what my answer would be, in the current situation...

I Will Survive - From The Scribbles Of A Workaholic.

I shall be in Delhi from the 26th to the 30th of November, for Guppy's wedding - and I have a Macbeth exam on 1st December. But I will survive.
I shall miss the Bou-boron and Bou-bhaat because the Macbeth exam is right at that very time. But I will survive.
After our reception party on the 3rd of December, I have a Modernism exam the very next day. But I will survive.
Come on, I've managed much worse than this.
I can get through all of it - studies, work (and there's a lot of it, make no mistake!), and wedding planning, not to forget leisure time.
All I need to do is slog my behind off these next few days, so that I don't sink during the exams. It's going to be tough, but hopefully with less time-wasting and better time-management, I shall get through.
Like I said, I will survive.
It's such lovely weather. Ideal for a steaming cup of sweet milky coffee, a blanket, a good book and a furry cat. Too bad I have articles to write, mails to send, work to supervise, essays to read, and syllabus to complete. But somehow, I quite like being a workaholic. God forbid I should be one of those people who revel in having nothing to do. I have nothing against them! But I don't think I'd be able to live as one. Takes all kinds to make a world, eh?

Whirlwind Of Days.

I can't believe it's already mid-November. Time is flying by so quickly that I feel breathlessly caught up in this whirlwind of days. One assignment after the other, a Term Paper to write, an approaching wedding, my usual work, books to read and movies to watch... It's a wonder I get any time to sleep. I have been told my time management is good - perhaps it is, perhaps it's not. I don't know. All I know is, sometimes I find myself wishing that I could at least enjoy these moments, and feel them, if you know what I mean. But everything is passing by so fast... Ah well - I guess c'est la vie.
On a less philosophical note, I'm glad to note my best friend is blogging again. She's been through a bad patch lately, and I think returning to the Blogosphere will do her some good. Life's always screwed up, it's how we deal with it that defines us as people. She'll get through everything fine, I know it. Besides, what doesn't kill you just makes you stronger, right? Cliche, but true. Hugs to you, Shreya!
Coming back to me, there's a lot of stuff I need to get out of the way. Academic, non-academic, work-related, I could go on and on. For the moment, though, listen to this song: "I'll Be There" - by Escape Club. It's my latest obsession.
And now, to work, to work! Hark, the Term Paper calls!

Thoughts On A Sunday Night.

Before, Sundays were always a lazy day for me. I used to spend them doing nothing at all - perhaps a bit of music, a few pages of a book, but mostly just lazing around. Right now, I can't remember the last lazy Sunday I spent. There's just so much stuff to do - so much work, so much reading to catch up on... Today, I spent the morning cleaning out my study-table, and I will get to my cupboards next Sunday. I like cleaning stuff. Yes yes, you may say I have OCD, but I feel so much better when things are clean and properly settled.

I am really looking forward to next semester, in spite of the fact that we have 4 Honours papers to get through. ADG will be coordinating the Detailed Study of a Shakespeare Play course, so woohoo. Tintin-da will be coordinating Modernism, and I am also taking Popular and Genre Fiction in the 19th Century, which promises to be really interesting. (Anything that has Dracula and Through The Looking Glass in the syllabus will be great!) Then there's Modernist Prose, I really like Shantanu-da's teaching, so that, too, should be good. Yes, next semester will be difficult, but it also sounds really appealing, and I plan to pay a lot more attention to academics this time.

(Yes, you can laugh now.)

Moving on...

I went shopping last week, bought lots of random stuff - pasta, mushrooms, Iced Tea powder... This week, I shall go shopping again, to buy a couple of notebooks and a few pens, and of course - anything else that captures my fancy. I fear I am turning into a shopaholic. Very soon, I shall be broke. *sigh*

Sometimes, I feel insecure about myself. I wish I were artistically gifted. I wish I could paint wonderful pictures, or take amazing photographs. I wish I were musically gifted - I've always wanted to learn the violin, I tried, but I have no musical talent whatsoever. Sometimes, I feel hopelessly inadequate, but Obelix just jumped onto my lap, and I'm instantly feeling much better. I'm reminded of how lucky I am, that I am fortunate to have a great life, interesting work, a lovely family, fantastic friends, and as for gifts - well, I can wiggle my ears. How many people can do that?

In Just A Few Days...

...The end-semester exams will be upon us. I'm not studying. Big surprise. I keep telling myself I'll get down to it soon, yet that "soon" is just a vague idea, a remote speck on the horizon. And that reminds me - my friends came over yesterday, I cooked for them. And among other things, we talked about how our writing styles have changed, ever since JUDE happened. There's a huge difference between then and now.

I'd written a post almost a couple of years back, on this blog, on my favourite smells. When I go back to it now, I'm struck by how childish it is. Yet, (like we concluded yesterday) if we were to write on the same thing today, it would be seemingly profound, and full of pauses pregnant with meaning. Something along the lines of "Smells... Memories... Freshly cut grass. Ah, to lie beneath the stars and experience the sweet intoxication..."

Aah, the perils of being an English-Honours student!

But JUDE hasn't really changed me. In many ways, I'm still the person I was, I haven't changed too many of my beliefs, and so far, I've stayed away from the things I always promised myself I'd stay away from. Yes, perhaps my writing style has changed, and perhaps I'm a calmer person now, more at ease with myself and in sync with the rest of the world, but essentially, I think I'm the same.

And I'm glad JUDE happened, and not just for the change in my writing. I've met some really amazing people, I've made some wonderful friends, friends whom I don't just like, but respect as well. And sometimes when the going gets tough, even though I'm a loner at heart, I know there's support should I need it.

I seem to have rambled on and on, and this post has suddenly turned very sentimental. Perhaps I shall write more on my friends later, but for now - like I said, I'm not studying, and doesn't it show? *grin*

And The 4th Semester Starts...

This semester, I have Augustan Literature- which hopefully should be good. So far, we've just had lectures on the Art and Philosophy during that period, but I'm looking forward to the rest of it. And there's Novel and Modernity, as well. The first novel we'll be studying is Aaron's Rod, the title of which sounds really perverted. (Don't accuse ME of having a dirty mind, Rukmini came up with this!) *grin*
And then there's Film Studies too, which promises to be interesting.
Hopefully this will be a good semester, better than the last, at least, which totally blew. Old and Middle English- the less said, the better. I hope to take this semester a little more seriously...
Yes yes, you can burst into laughter now.
It's lovely being back at Jude. There's a strange sense of comfort that I've gotten used to. It whispers to me from the Ledge, it's in the air at Worldview, and I can feel it in class. College is passing by much too quickly. It's the 4th Semester already. *sigh*
Note to self: Enjoy every moment while I can.

My Latest PJ-s!

Presenting my latest PJs:

1. Telling someone in the group not to stress over the Rhetoric and Composition exam: "Tension korish na. Scansion kor!"

2. Messaging everyone yesterday while I was supposed to be studying PoCo: "What do you call an important ant? ..... SignificANT!"

Change in decision.

Staying faithful to my eternal habit of being indecisive, I have changed my Term Paper topic.
Now it is: "A Clockwork Orange- The Juxtaposition of Fine Arts with the Depiction of Sex and Violence".
Or something along those lines.
I shall not give away anymore. If you really want to know more, you shall have to read it.

Term Paper.

After much head-scratching and pondering, after many putting-on-thinking-cap sessions and not-thinking, I (with substantial help from Esmo) have come up with an idea on the Term Paper for Literature And The Other Arts.

I shall focus on the brainwashing in A Clockwork Orange, and draw parallels to brainwashing in other works like 1984, Hirak Rajar Deshe, and One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Will discuss the whole concept of brainwashing (the famous Pavlov experiment), and then end by discussing the ethics and the morality of brainwashing. (Question: How am I supposed to fit all this in within 3000 words??)

Now comes the most difficult part- WORK!

*sigh*