I'm sick and tired of all this. I don't know how exactly to explain it, and I'm not even sure that I want to - I've always been a fiercely private person, never wearing my heart on my sleeve. And perhaps that's the problem. That my emotions are private. Certain people sometimes think I'm too private, that it's not normal to be so. And then, invariably, they automatically perceive me as indifferent or heartless, when all I'm really trying to do is keep my emotions to myself and just carry on with life.
Which is better? Is it better to parade your happiness, your sadness, your ecstasy, and your heartbreak out there, for the world to see, laugh at, and talk about? Or is it more sensible to be the oyster-like person that I am, coming out only if necessary and to select people, and therefore berated for supposedly being socially dysfunctional?
Sometimes, I couldn't care less. When something's not meant to work, it isn't meant to work - and that's really all there is to it. All the meaningful discussions and promises-to-do-better couldn't make a difference. And certain people should really learn to move on. I'm not saying it's easy for everyone, but we all go through our share of trauma and unhappiness - God knows I've been through my share, so do you blame me for using an unemotional front as a defence mechanism?