Friday, 9 April 2010

Darkness. And Blankness.

My body clock has gone for a toss. Nowadays, I can't get to sleep before 2 a.m., at least. It's frustrating. After University, possible assignments, work, and other random stressful things, I'm tired - but I can't sleep. Sleep evades me, I lie in bed, staring into the darkness, thinking of has-beens and what-ifs.
Every once in a while, I reach out my hand to touch Pickles, who unlike me, can sleep anytime, anywhere. I stroke her, and take comfort from her furry, sleeping form.
But till 2 a.m. (or 2.30, some nights!), I stay awake, tossing and turning, worrying about work, thinking about studies, going over interesting books I've read, and sometimes I think about people - people who've made a difference in my life, people I'm learning to do without, people I've mentally and emotionally disassociated myself with, and people I couldn't live without.
And sometimes I watch a movie to pass the time. Last week, on different nights, I watched Mystic River and Mean Girls late into the night.
I wish I could get back my normal sleeping pattern. While on the one hand it's nice being awake till 2.30 a.m., I think every once in a while, I would like to fall asleep by 12.30, and be able to get up, well-rested, by 7.30 a.m., and spend some quality time with the morning newspapers.


Bhooter Raja said...

don't drink lots of tea/coffee. don't listen to music before sleeping. and watching movies before going to bed isn't a very good idea either.

Priyanka said...

newspapers are the reason i like waking up early too. that and my morning cup of tea.