
Showing posts with label Depressions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Depressions. Show all posts
Thursday, 11 March 2010
Birthday Blues.

Wednesday, 27 January 2010
Bittersweetness.
I was sorting through old letters and cards the other day, and I came across this one birthday card Ma had given my father, many years back.
She'd written, "You are getting old, soon you shall have to wear your trousers rolled. Maybe there is even a bald spot in the middle of your hair. But my hair is greying, too. I shall be there with you, together we shall eat peaches, and walk upon the beach. You are my best love. Happy Birthday."
(Anyone who's read Eliot's The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock will understand the allusions here.)
It's funny how life can be so bittersweet sometimes. *sigh*
She'd written, "You are getting old, soon you shall have to wear your trousers rolled. Maybe there is even a bald spot in the middle of your hair. But my hair is greying, too. I shall be there with you, together we shall eat peaches, and walk upon the beach. You are my best love. Happy Birthday."
(Anyone who's read Eliot's The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock will understand the allusions here.)
It's funny how life can be so bittersweet sometimes. *sigh*
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
Just Because.
2010's started on a decent note.
But just five days into the New Year, comes my first mood swing. I hate this. This manic-depression. It comes without warning, and makes me want to sink right into a dark place, where nothing and no one can touch me.
Also, I find myself missing you, of all people. Nothing makes sense anymore. Seriously.
But just five days into the New Year, comes my first mood swing. I hate this. This manic-depression. It comes without warning, and makes me want to sink right into a dark place, where nothing and no one can touch me.
Also, I find myself missing you, of all people. Nothing makes sense anymore. Seriously.
Wednesday, 23 December 2009
Park Street - A Walk Down Memory Lane.
I spent some time in Park Street today, after ages, and I was surprised by how many memories came flooding back. Each flashback more powerful than the last.
People associate Park Street with the tempting restaurants, the party mood, and of course - the cheap alcohol served at OlyPub, but somehow - Park Street to me has always held a different meaning. I always associate it with my father, and the times I spent with him.
I remember you walking me into Paragon, that games-shop near St. Xaviers, and buying me toys. I remember you taking me to Hobby Centre for icecream. I remember the numerous lunches at Bar-B-Q, and I felt you there with me today when I went with Ma for lunch, after 10-odd years or so. I remember you buying me "Amelia Jane" books from Oxford Bookstore. And I remember you and I walking down Park Street- silent, just enjoying each other's company, after we'd watched "The Lord Of The Rings ".
I miss you. But I'm glad I have the memories to hold on to.
People associate Park Street with the tempting restaurants, the party mood, and of course - the cheap alcohol served at OlyPub, but somehow - Park Street to me has always held a different meaning. I always associate it with my father, and the times I spent with him.
I remember you walking me into Paragon, that games-shop near St. Xaviers, and buying me toys. I remember you taking me to Hobby Centre for icecream. I remember the numerous lunches at Bar-B-Q, and I felt you there with me today when I went with Ma for lunch, after 10-odd years or so. I remember you buying me "Amelia Jane" books from Oxford Bookstore. And I remember you and I walking down Park Street- silent, just enjoying each other's company, after we'd watched "
I miss you. But I'm glad I have the memories to hold on to.
Sunday, 16 August 2009
Loss.
Sometimes, I miss you so much it hurts. I retreat to a private little corner of my world, nursing a physical pain that refuses to go away. You have left behind an emptiness, and sometimes I think it strange that a void can hurt so much.
I remember you with photographs and with remembrances of certain incidents, and with scribbled notes in books. I look at the framed pictures of you, and open that Old Spice bottle just to remind myself of the way you used to smell. And I even see you in myself.
But somehow, I still miss you. I wish you were here, and sometimes, I find myself wondering if you are watching over me. If you're not, come here please, I need you. And if you are, stay - don't go just yet. I still need you around. Perhaps I always will.
Saturday, 22 November 2008
Here Without You.
"These wounds won't seem to heal,
This pain is just too real,
There's just too much that time cannot erase."
- Evanescence (My Immortal)
It's been 5 years today, and I miss you more with every passing moment.
This pain is just too real,
There's just too much that time cannot erase."
- Evanescence (My Immortal)
It's been 5 years today, and I miss you more with every passing moment.
Thursday, 30 October 2008
To Simba.
"The flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow dies;
All that we wish to stay
Tempts and then flies.
What is this world's delight?
Lightning that mocks the night,
Brief even as bright."
- Mutability, by Percy Bysshe Shelley
Simba passed away today. He was one of my cats, so named because of his sleek orangish-brown fur.
Life is so fragile. It’s frightening.
Rest In Peace, Simba.
We'll never forget you.
To-morrow dies;
All that we wish to stay
Tempts and then flies.
What is this world's delight?
Lightning that mocks the night,
Brief even as bright."
- Mutability, by Percy Bysshe Shelley
Simba passed away today. He was one of my cats, so named because of his sleek orangish-brown fur.
Life is so fragile. It’s frightening.
Rest In Peace, Simba.
We'll never forget you.
Thursday, 22 November 2007
Myriad memories.
The Second World War.
Icecream and chocolate cake.
White pajamas.
Smiles that are fake.
Scrabble and chess.
Peter Pan and Shakespeare.
Blazer and tie.
A glass of draught beer.
Pacing around the room.
A box of matches.
Bacon and eggs.
Lots of red patches.
Far away in the distance.
And yet so near.
Oh, how I wish...
How I wish you were here.
Don't try to understand this poem. It makes lots of allusions of which only I know the significance.
It's my poem, dealing with my loss.
"What shall we use to fill these empty spaces..?"
- Pink Floyd.
They couldn't have been more correct. Some empty spaces just cannot be filled.
*sigh*
Aah well, life moves on. And one grows up.
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